Nights are the worst

Our evenings are very different to how they were 2 months ago.

Our lazy quiet life has been turned completely upside down. 

We search for our boys, sometimes skipping dinner. One week of groceries lasted two and abit. 

If you ever find yourself in this situation, evenings are the best time to search for cats. Or 3am till 6am. We walk the streets calling their name. Sometimes it feels futile, other times it feels like any moment one of them will appear.

We shout Winnie. Over the road is a lovely little cat who thinks he is Winnie. Every night he runs to us. Sure he is saying I'll be winnie. Don't leave me here. It wasn't my choice. Sadly, we cant save them all. We'd really love to, we really would. What to do.

What the people who did this fail to understand, is that we want our boys. We microchipped and neutered them we love them. We are financially invested in them. They are ours. They are our family. 

When it's time to go to bed, my mind races. I go over what we have or haven't achieved on that day. Did we check properly when we went to see about a black cat? Maybe we will add it to tomorrow's list and check again. Did we try hard enough? Who can we email tomorrow? What can we do next?

Street cats hide during the daylight. Do our boys know they are street cats? Will they hide?

Nights are the worst. Trying to relax as we need the energy to do it all again tomorrow. We plan. We work smart. We have a schedule. First we view sightings, then we trawl local haunts for cat colonies, feeding as we go. Sometimes we get diverted when a promising sighting comes in. Could it be? Our anxiety levels spike, then fall. Looking at these poor lost cats and saying youre not ours. Its feels as awful as the sleepless nights.  

We've been thrown into this terrible situation. Our boys have been thrown.... somewhere.

We wont stop boys. We will find you.