Too many tears

It's been an emotional few days.

We saved another dumped cat.

100% dumped as a cat could not find its way to the area. It's in the middle of nowhere.  Desert.  Reeds. Breeding grounds for ticks, fleas and disease.

Looking for our boys led us here.

He is not the only one to find himself in these circumstances. There are 100s if not 1000s, just like him. Some better, some worse. We are scraping the very tip of a very huge iceberg.

As I've said before. Finding our boys is our no.1 priority. No.2 is going to be a long hard slog to advocate for change.

We need industry professionals as what do we know? We only know what we've been exposed to the past 3 months. I've spoken with a lady who has been doing this for over 30 years!

I'm struggling emotionally without a doubt. The mess is so overwhelming.

Metaphorically, I was hit by a succession of waves which took me off my feet, whirled me around and dropped me from a great height. 

The above cat Dody, is a mess. We removed around 70 ticks from him. He is so emaciated. I've felt guilty to eat since seeing him. He needed 3 lots of IV fluids. A serious maggot infested wound needed irrigating on his front right leg, which now needs to be flushed and cleaned daily. The canula was inserted in his front left leg. Even trying to fix him seems cruel. So much suffering. Matted coat, poop stuck to him, clogged ears, dirty eyes.... all unimaginable. He doesn't even look like a cat. He looked like an alien creature after he had to be shaved. He looks broken.

He looked me in the eye. I wanted to cuddle him, but he is so frail I could only do it with him wrapped in a blanket. He stretched out his canulad leg and touch my face, and my heart. His eyes are like an ocean with so much depth, it took my breath away.  I will take lots of photos of his eyes when he is feeling better. I fear it's going to take a while.

I had to take the 3 new cats that we now have, since searching for our boys, for their vaccination. 

Tiny Seona was first.

She couldn't have her vaccine as she had a temperature diagnosed by the vet. Where she has such bad gingivitis it has caused an infection. Treatment for that, then hopefully vaccine next week.

Zayed was next, followed by Sterling. All fit and healthy, gaining weight. All good.

Little Seona was feeling very warm.

Yesterday, I had to have a 4 month old kitten put to sleep. My friend called me. Said there was a cat in trouble. We took her to the vets. We were too late 😔 She was so close to death from parvo, she could not be saved. We cried, the vet was emotional too. All round, an awful experience for all of us.

I was scared I had contaminated Seona. It really wasn't possible. I had picked up the cat with gloves. Removed my clothing as soon as I got home and sanitised myself. Still, the worry remained.

Today, after 2 lots of antibiotics and her mouth treatments, Seona is back to herself, albeit still very much underweight, she is doing well. She'll finish the course then go for vaccine.

Then it came to Dave and I administering fluids for Dody. I am not medically trained and Dave has some experience. The vet talked us through how to set the drip and attach to the canula. It didn't work. We both panicked. He needed fluids overnight. He couldn't stay at the vets because of the ticks. We had removed so many, and the tick treatment was yet to take full effect.

At 10pm we called a veterinary nurse who is our friend, for advice. Still it did not work. We found out the next day the canula was blocked. No flushing could have fixed it. Dody had food mixed with water that night. He ate it all ❤️ 

On the way back from the vets, darling Sterling decided to poop in his cage. I do not have the stomach for this. I was gagging, driving, crying. It was just one thing after another. 

I felt so overwhelmed when I got home. My friend was asking where meds were for Seona, Dave wanted to know what happened at the vet. I popped my head into Dodys isolation room (formerly my shower room) and thought he had died. 

Since we found him, he has remained in a squated, hunched up position. He was now laying flat.

I told Dave and my friend he was dead. Still wretching from the poop in the crate in the car, dizzy from what cat needed what drugs, I cracked. 

I stood in the middle of the kitchen and sobbed. Trying to find my cats, trying to save other cats, failing miserably at both.

They comforted me and told me Dody was just sleeping, all the meds were under control, and the crate had been cleaned of Sterling's poop.

I was just so over whelmed. Two cats I'd gone to check earlier hadn't been Monty or Blacky. Then the vets, the drip, the meds, the parvo kitten, poor Seona with a fever. Was just all too much for me.

I'm not emotionally strong. I'm trying. I have no choice. For our boys, I have to continue on this journey, forced upon us. We wont give up.