House of cards

Day 150

I am starting to feel everything is falling in on me.

I need five of me to achieve all the things I want. I want to help as many as I can while prioritising bringing Blacky and Winnie home.

They've left such a big hole in our life that we need them to complete us. We are missing them terribly. No less than 150 days ago. 

I should check how many cats we have marked off as not being ours. That's awful as everyone of the cats we have looked at doesn't have a home. I know they are well looked after by the colony carers, but our cats loved their soft furnishings.

Always on our bed, the sofa or our lap. How will they cope swapping all that for cold desert floors, soon to be hot?

With the weather changing my anxiety for finding them, and the worry for all the other cats on the streets is exhausting me. I feel our window of opportunity is closing.

Most of my non-searching hours are spent swotting up on policies, procedures and the law regarding animal welfare here. Sadly, the more I discover the higher my anxiety goes and the lower my heart sinks.

We have to help make a difference. We have been put on this path for a reason. Not only through the acts of the unscrupulous pest control, but by being compassionate Animal lovers. We have started something we will finish. 

I don't see an end date though. No end to us searching. No end to us reaching the right people to help. We really need help.

Through all this tragedy I have forged some amazing relationships. Some only by phone calls, social media, others face to face. People, who like us, want the UAE to step up. We know they can. We all want to help. We need community driven initiatives. The people on the ground need to be heard. The people who have been doing this day in, day out for years, decades for some, need to be heard.

I'm exhausted. 151 days. Not 5, 10, 20 or 30 years. Communities have been slogging away at the animal welfare issues for a long time. Promises are made, guidance is set - never powerful enough to make a difference.

There are many things needed as the problem has become so huge.

1.Mobile tnr, vaccination and microchip.

2. Education. 

3. Licensed, authorised and trained carers plus authorised feeding  station monitors.

4. A sanctuary.....

I've learnt sanctuary has different meanings to different cultures.

This sanctuary would be a well managed safe haven, run by people who care and want to make a difference.

A sanctuary for rest and recovery. For the cats that can't survive on the streets.

I naively thought we could just scoop them up and save them all. All the cats and dogs. I realise this is not possible. I realise cats can survive when managed well within a colony. Not all cats want or need the soft furnishings. Not all cats need a lap. Cats are fiercely independent. We made them soft for their 2 meals a day, treats, toys, loves and a roof over their head.

Monty survived. Albeit he is not the same cat that was whisked away and dumped on 25th October 2022. He is different. He growls at food time. He jumps at loud noises. He doesn't seem as dependent on us. He relied on his instincts. Despite his pampered life he resorted to his natural survival mode. I desperately hope we can get the old Monty back over time.

That makes me worry for Blacky. He is old. He's not had to fight for a meal for 10 years. I hope his survival instincts are keeping him alive. Imagining his suffering makes me ill. Then I think maybe he was as lucky as Monty and is being cared for by a lovely family who let him sit on their lap and share ther life with him. He is an asset to anyone who has the pleasure of entertaining him.

Winnie I feel is a little more 'rogue'. Despite him being a tiny kitten and growing to be a tiny adult, he is super switched on. Of the three of them, winnie is the one I expect to have managed by himself. He is smart. He wasn't fussed about alap but would sit next to us or snuggle with his brothers. I hope he is doing OK 😔 

We will not give up on our boys and our suffered trauma will drive us forward for change. It has to happen. There is no alternative.