The clock is ticking

It's been awhile.

Not because I haven't needed the cathartic safety of getting my words out, but purely due to time.

Never in my life have I been so aware of time.

It's running through my hands like water and I just dont have enough ways to catch it.

Time spent walking, searching, hoping.

Time spent brainstorming, planning, scheduling.

Time spent juggling, making do and making up.

Time has become my enemy. I've always said spend your time well.

If you had 1,140 pounds, dirhams or dollars every day, you would spend wisely.

1,140 is how many minutes there are in a day. Each and every one of those minutes are gifted to us for an unknown amount of time, every day. Every second counts.

I am 'spending' my time looking for my boys. Time I would have had to allocate everyday to normal life 'stuff'.

Now I'm super conscious of spending it as best I can.

Sort and care for all the cats we now have, look after our home, our garden... which is a little worse for ware as its been neglected since this all started.

Then everything left over is spent searching for the boys, and sadly finding more and more disturbing situations for the cats on the streets.

I saw kittens, born under an electric rooms grated floor. The mum had a blanket there for them. She must have dragged it there as I can not image how anyone could have got down there. I check on them daily now that I've seen them. They are clean, healthy and the mum is doing the best she can. We will tnr her when the kittens are old enough.

I saw two fluffy cats. Not young looking, but I'm not experienced enough to have a good guess of their age. They were laying in a random place, not near any colony. They were waiting. Patiently for their owner to return. They are still there. I will collect them this evening. I can find temporary fosters for them. Hoping they are still there this evening. I couldn't take them immediately. Just no space.

I saw a black cat. From the side I first noticed he looked like a healthy cat. When he turned, his other side had chunks of fur missing. Huge bald chunks. I need to trap him and see what's going on with him.

I saw a rainbow.

Was it a sign? No. My shred of sanity told me it was a natural phenomenon. Not a sign.

Then I saw this cat. For some reason I cracked. Watching her creep out from under the bin. All fluffy and cute and new to the area I trawl often looking for Blacky. She moved me. Her resilience. I was crying. Do cats cry? It was a moment of adversity for me. Was it the same for her? She ate. She looked  up at me, sized me up and decided the mad lady was worthy of a leg rub. I sat with her on the curb for 20 minutes. We needed each other in that moment. I will go and see her later. I told I'd do my best to help her. Not sure how far doing my 'best' will go, but I shall try for her.

I had given my scanner away, again 🤦‍♀️. I must learn not to do that without a reserve. I will replace that today... again lol.

So along with looking for Blacky and Winnie, my round now covers the kittens, the bin girl, plus the cats at one of the biggest colonys in Khalifa city.

Gotta keep going. The boys will be battling on. I have to match them. I won't give up as I know they won't. I made a promise to find them. I will keep that promise.

Never giving up.